Haunted
by Karabou95
Summary: Reid thought he and Morgan would be together forever, until the unthinkable happens. Song fic to Taylor Swift's, Haunted. Slash, one-shot. I posted this before but it didnt work, so hopefully it does this time.


**I don't own Criminal Minds or Taylor Swift, I wish I did. I really really wish I did. But sadly, I don't.  
>I'm not sure why the last time I tried to upload this it didnt work, but hopefully this one does. <strong>

"I'm sorry, Spencer, I really am," Morgan said softly, pulling away from him and turning and walking away. Reid would have that memory with him for the rest of his life.

He knew their relationship had had its rocky moments, but then again, whose hadn't? Reid had thought it was just the stress that was getting to Morgan and that as soon as he got a good nights sleep everything would go back to normal. Yeah he had been acting weird for a couple of months, but Reid had just brushed it off as stress until now.

He never thought this would happen; Morgan had promised they would be together forever. He never would have guessed that forever would only be three short years.

He saw Morgan's back making its way down the long hallway in his apartment building and he didn't notice the way it was shaking; all he could think about was that this was the last time he would ever see his lover, his best friend again.

"Spencer, we can't do this anymore, I can't do this," Morgan had said, the pain evident in his eyes. Reid refused to believe him at first, but then once reality set in and he realized Morgan was really leaving, he collapsed on the couch, unable to breathe through his choking sobs.

He didn't see the way Morgan had to restrain himself instead of going to comfort him, he didn't see the way Morgan had looked at him. All he knew was that Morgan was leaving, he was leaving just when he thought he had everything figured out.

"Don't leave me like this," Reid had whispered when he was finally able to speak again. Morgan laid a comforting hand on Reid's shoulder and Reid turned around, pulling him into a hug before he could protest.

When Morgan finally disappeared down the stairs and Reid couldn't see him anymore, he numbly felt his way back to his apartment and collapsed on the couch, hoping the darkness he felt descending on him would disappear with time. It was deadly quiet in his apartment and Reid felt an overwhelming urge to throw something. His whole body shook and he lay on his couch, unable to get up to even do the simplest tasks.

Reid didn't think he would be able to handle the pain again; it was hard enough to do when he thought Prentiss had died, but now, now it was his best friend that was gone. Who was supposed to get him through this now that he was gone?

_Come on, come on, don't leave me like thisI thought I had you figured outCan't breathe whenever you're goneCan't turn back now, I'm haunted_

Reid had meant every word he had said to Morgan, every whispered I love you. He felt Hotch and the girls hovering over him, but their consoling words had no effect on him. They didn't matter, no one mattered. No one besides Morgan. He may have faked a smile and pretended he was okay over the next couple of weeks, but he wasn't okay. He wouldn't ever be. Not once he had lost his best friend. He didn't think this would ever end, but it did and it ended with little explanation.

A couple of weeks later, just when he thought the worst of the pain was over, he got a letter. A letter from the man who had messed up everything and made it all okay at the same time. The man who had led him to experience love. At first, Hotch wouldn't let him read it, but when Reid insisted, the older man relented, handing it over with an apologetic grimace, as if he knew what was inside.

Come to think of it, he probably had known what was in it, but Reid was too preoccupied with the letter itself to worry about the fact that the letter was already opened, the paper had been creased two different ways.

"Reid-before you read this, you need to know something. Morgan had cancer," Hotch said softly.

Reid froze and his entire body started to shake. Cancer?

"What?" he managed to say.

"I'm sorry, Spencer," Hotch said, tears spilling out of his eyes. "He passed away yesterday. He wanted me to give you this."

"How long did he know?" Reid whispered, still unable to grasp the concept that Morgan was dead.

"Only a couple of months. He didn't want to tell you, he wanted to enjoy the rest of his life without you having to worry about him all the time."

"No," Reid whispered, sinking down onto the floor.

"Do you want me to stay with you?" Hotch asked, putting his hand on Reid's shoulder. He only shook his head, wanting to be alone. With shaky hands, he pulled the single piece of paper out of the envelope and started to read.

_-Spencer_

_No matter what has happened when you're reading this, no matter what you think of me, I want you to know that I love you more than anything in the world. You were the one that pulled me out of my worst moods, the one who could cheer me up just by seeing your face. You are amazing and don't you ever forget that. By the time you read this, you'll probably already know that I'm dead. I wanted to tell you, I really did. But I just couldn't make the last couple months of memories you had of me being about cancer. I wanted you to remember the happy times, the good times we had. I'm sorry it had to end this way, but I truly believe it was for the best. I didn't want to leave you, but the doctors said I had to stay in the hospital for the last couple weeks. I wish I could have spent them with you, they would have made them better. I love you Spencer, I love you more than anything. Don't let your life go for me, keep those random facts I loved so much but pretended to hate coming. Don't ever change and don't let anything anyone says hurt you. You're the best thing that has ever happened to me and if I had to do it again I wouldn't change anything. Stay strong and keep Aaron, Emily, JJ, Dave and Penelope close. They'll help you through this just like you'll help them through this. I'll always be there with you, you'll never be alone. I love you, Spencer. _

_-Derek_

A single tear dropped down onto the page and joined the one that was already there, leaving twin water stains: one for each lover.

**Well that was really depressing to write, I was bawling my eyes out the entire time! This is the first time I've written a character death, so I'm not really sure about this. R&R please!**

**And I haven't abandoned **_**Adventures on a Floridian Cruise, **_**the ideas are just coming slow and this was easier to write than that is. A new chapter will (hopefully) be up soon.**


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